Standing Still

Wanting to find some work in some capacity, I renewed my substitute teaching certification, fulfilling all the requirements and paying the fees.  I’ve applied to all the towns around me and have been told there is a glut of applicants.   The list of substitute teachers is so long that one town is no longer accepting applications.   There was a time when being a substitute teacher was a dreaded position.  Many people like me are turning to it in a last ditch effort to reenter the workforce.  Finding any job is like trying to win the lottery with much less return.   

Denied

When my husband became disabled he applied for temporary disability.  Since temporary disability in this state is paid by the employer, not the state, and since his employer as mentioned below, went out of business, he was denied.  That left him with no income whatsoever.  You can’t collect unemployment if you are disabled.   So we were down to one unemployment check, further reducing our already reduced income.  Eventually, he received a back to work note and reapplied for unemployment which is about to end.  The only other income option we have is to apply for early social security.  Oh, I almost forgot.  He also applied to the National Council on Aging, a government program which subsidizes temporary part time minimum wage jobs.  This is the definition of diminishing returns.

House for Sale

Once my husband had a stroke, the writing was on the wall.  He could no longer endure the stress of a full time job.  We had to face the fact that we would no longer be able to stay in our home and keep paying the mortgage and taxes.  In September, 2009 the house went on the market.   We have a basket full of business cards from people who have looked at our house.  To date, no offers.  The realtor tells us to lower our price.   And so we will.  If ever there was a best time to buy a house, it is now. 

Notably Unremarkable

There is nothing special about my situation.  I am not unique.  I am one of millions of people who played by the rules, lived within their means, paid their bills, earned an honest living and who is becoming collateral damage, if you will, of a broken system.  Factor into that, the reality that age discrimination is alive and well and you have a formula for failure to maintain what used to be your status quo.   It is a bad dream that you can’t wake up from, with no visible end in sight, no light shining through.  Just stay positive, upbeat, put on the face and go home to what is still your home and then wonder how much longer it still will be. 

Money and Happiness

We all know money does not equate to happiness.   But put that aside for a minute.  If you had a choice between being rich or being poor, which would you choose and why?  Are you the kind of person who would be perfectly happy living in a tent, off the land, with the clothes on your back and little or no possessions?  Or do you prefer the creature comforts?  A warm bed, a good meal. Clothing, food and shelter are necessities.  If we start to lose our grip on the bare necessities can we still be happy?  I submit that there is more to life than the bare necessities.   You need money to live.   Otherwise, you become a charity case.  Poor.  Who really embraces that?  Anyone you know?

In this recession, the left out and left behind are losing their grip on the most basic essentials one day at a time.  These are not people living the high life.  These are ordinary people living ordinary lives in a not so ordinary time.  And what is afforded these people?  Hope that it will get better if you just keep trying.  Just don’t stop trying.  Lower your expectations.  Then lower them again.   How about trying to walk ½ mile in those shoes?

When One Door Closes After Another

It happened early one morning in the Spring of 2010.  I was online researching  job opportunities when my husband suddenly fell to the floor in the bedroom yelling, “Oh my God!”  I ran into the bedroom and there he was, unable to get up.   Unsure of what had  just happened,  I tried to help him but it was useless.   I called 911 since this was clearly something we couldn’t deal with ourselves.   Thus, started another journey within a journey to top off our unemployment problem; a debilitating stroke.   I knew a permanent change was in the making but how drastic would it be?

A neighbor was driving by and seeing the ambulance in front of our house, she stopped.   I was frightened but she gave me some much needed comfort.  “Would you like me to drive you to the hospital?”, she said.   And so she did.   She stayed with me until immediate family arrived.  She was sure she was placed in that moment in time to be there.  I am not a religious person, but it was a force of nature that put her in place to help us get through the first phase of this life altering, traumatic event.  She was in the truest sense, a Godsend, just as she had been in a different way, many years before.

1-1-11 - In My Own Words

Learn from the past but not with sorrow.  Live in the present and find tomorrow.